Logbook entry #4 - Childhood heroes

Something that has been consistent with me since I was a kid was my love for history. I was always fascinated by understanding our past as humanity and learn our struggles and ways of coping. I especially had a soft spot for heroic knightly figures: defenders of the common folk against all odds.

Among those heroes I counted El Cid, Alexander Nevsky, Charles Martel and most of all the roman general Belisarius. I always particularly sympathized with the general: undeniable loyalty to emperor, country and wife, extremely resourceful proven by his record of conducting campaigns on paper thin budgets, inspiring to his troops displaying true leadership and a brilliant tactician with a career that could have easily been a Hollywood movie featuring the restoration of the old Roman borders. Doing much with little and being loyal to the bitter end, where even your superiors are bitter of your successes and cast you away in jealousy appealed to my romantic heart.

However, adulthood often comes up with sobering realizations. We find out Santa Claus isn't real, we have to pay bills, diet and sometimes find out the darker sides of our childhood heroes. Case in point, these days I have been reading a special book: one written by Procopius, a scholar contemporary to Belisarius dead-set on documenting the nastier side of the glorious story.

Through this book I learned that Belisarius had been a complete push-over. Apparently, the mighty general was spell-bound to his wife Antonina. While initially unaware to her consistent cheating, he did little once he found out. He let down his staff when they pointed out the truth to him by letting them being tortured by his wife. He led expeditions to find her lover, stopped successful campaigns just to meet her earlier and in general conducted himself not in the most honourable manner.

And it turns out he just finished his career in semi-retirement. The story of the emperor blinding him out of jealousy and Belisarius still being a loyal subject is just a chivalrous myth, popularized by the associated paintings. An overall letdown indeed, but the biggest lesson here is that ultimately we have to be our own heroes!

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